- “You’re too young to get married, aren’t you?”
I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked this question, it’s just too many. I think the most irritating part about this was that it wasn’t my own friends asking this question, but rather older adults and it came across as critical. My answer was always the same “my life choices are none of your business but if you must know, no I’m twenty-one and not too young.”
I’m not sure why everyone seems to think your business is also their business. It is my life, my decision. Many people get married younger than I was and it works out. I think society has painted a label on young marriages as “unsuccessful” and that does not go for every marriage. We were together for over three years (two and a half long distance), had gone through multiple obstacles, and had a set plan before getting engaged and married. When you love someone as much as we do, you want your life together to start as soon as possible so we thought “why wait any longer.” I don’t regret my decision to marry the man I love one bit.
2. “You have your whole life ahead of you so why get married now?”
I have heard so many people tell me that your life slows down when you’re married or in a relationship and I’ve never understood this. Why does it have to? I have no regrets to get married because you can do the same activities as when you’re single, but with the person you love. In my opinion, traveling and basically everything else is so much more fun with Elton by my side than it would be doing alone. So if someone can explain to me “what I would be missing” while being married, I’ll be here waiting.
3. “Did you choose to get married so early because he’s in the Marine Corps?”
Elton and I both decided together when we were ready to be married. His time overseas had just come to an end and we were ready to finally live life together instead of countries apart. Our situation was definitely unique but we just craved a life side-by-side and we were both mature and ready to be husband and wife so we went for it. He still has a few year in the Marine Corps so we would’ve been married regardless but that was not the main deciding factor. We didn’t feel like waiting any longer to start out lives together.
4. “Don’t you get sick and tired of being apart from him so often?
If I’m being completely honest, yes being apart all the time does get irritating. Would I change a thing? Nope. The distance we’ve endured throughout our relationship has made it so much stronger, which definitely sounds like a cliche but it’s true. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” We went through so many obstacles and overcame them all – the distance did that. It taught us how to put each other first, how to trust and love even harder.
The “goodbyes” and “see you laters” that we continue to go through don’t ever get easier but we’ve both learned how to better cope with being apart; it isn’t something you get used to, you just learn new ways to keep yourself busy and distracted. But no matter how long or how many times we have to be apart, I wouldn’t change it because it teaches us to live every single day we are together to the absolute fullest.
5. “Have you ever thought about what your life would be like if you were in a different situation?
Not really. It’s so hard to think of how different life would be if we weren’t in this situation. The military and long distance is how we built our relationship, that was the foundation. If the situation was different and we had no distance between us, I don’t know if we would have learned as much about each other and become as strong as we are now. Long distance and the military have taught us how to be patient, understanding, and how to make every minute together count.
Even when Elton and I talk about the future and the possibility of moving on from the Marine Corps, it feels weird for us both. Even though that decision is still years away, the thought of having a “normal” life both scares and excites us. All I know is no matter what situation or scenario we come across or that crosses my mind, Elton will be there with me.